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Aug 15

Written by: Jennifer Kumar, Cultural Adjustment Coach
Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Last week, I talked about the placebo effect.  I want to share a story about how a homeopathic tablet opened up opportunity for match making.  Some call the pill a placebo, but maybe the real placebo was the hope that the pill put back into their lives, leading to a different energetic level that allowed more possibility.


I know a girl; she wanted badly to get married.  In her culture of arranged marriages, her family tried every avenue tried by others they knew- they went through family, friends, newspaper and television ads (before internet), marriage brokers and astrologers among many others.  All these avenues included as a final step a horoscope matching as per their tradition.  But, each avenue seemed to arrive at a dead end.  Based on their caste, community, language, education, socio-economic, religious and spiritual traditions and cultural requirements, they felt frustrated at finding a suitable boy.


Sometimes requirements, no matter how important one holds them, can put a damper on the excitement and romance of a pending marriage.  It was these very requirements, and lack of ability to match them, that left them at a stalemate.  It was at this time, a new suggestion was given.  Someone suggested trying homeopathy.  Suddenly, she arrived home with homeopathic tablets.  The doctor told her that taking them would attract a mate to her. 


Before getting this pill, she and her family were frustrated.  They wanted to give up, but knew that wasn’t a possibility.  They had a lot of requirements.  Should they ease up on the requirements?  Would easing up create another unwanted situation?   Of course, when I looked from the outside in to this situation, I did wonder what it would be like to ease up on the requirements.  I did not grow up with arranged marriage, and did not really understand it.  However, even with ‘love marriages’ people put a lot of conditions.  The conditions we put for love marriage are more based on the individual, and in arranged marriages based on the family groups.  But, all in all, in both ways of getting married, people have requirements.  People in any culture won’t marry just anyone.  After all, people must be compatible. 


When she walked into the house with the pills, I noticed a new hope in her face.  There was a bit of skepticism, but more than skepticism, hope.  She believed this would help her.  I did not quite understand how.  I also being single at the time, they wanted me to take the pills too.  They were trying to look out for my best interest!  I declined the pills, and wanted to know if they would really help her.


Within time, something changed.  She gained confidence that she would find the right one.  Her mood became contagious, and her family followed her lead.  Everyone became more hopeful as days passed that a suitable boy would be found.  It is like their energy changed- coming into their home felt lighter, happier.  I guess they also started looking at their requirements in less of a limiting way.  If it makes any sense, they began to allow freedom within these requirements, realizing that, for them, these requirements would lead them to the most suitable match.


As amazing as it was, within about 3 months, a suitable boy was found, and within a year from that time, they were married!  Till date, she has been happily married about 5 years and has a young son.  Looking back on this experience, she has taught me a lot!  From this experience, I have learned that opening your mind, heart and soul to a different – and desirable- outcome can happen once we drop our baggage and focus on the positive.


This story is based on my diary entry from traveling to India in 2001.

Copyright ©2007 Jennifer Jayanthi Kumar


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